Watching someone go through the grieving process can be difficult. It might leave you feeling helpless. While grieving can take on many characteristics and is an individual process there are things you can do to help. Read these 6 ways to help a grieving friend or loved one.
Prayer
God hears your prayers and while you might not know what to do, He does. While you are praying for their hurting heart, ask Him to help you see those things you can do to be of help. Those who are deep in grief can’t always explain what they need or how it would be of benefit to them.
If they aren’t eating, you might take it upon yourself to provide a few meals each week. Maybe they need someone to do the laundry or wash the dishes. Everyday tasks can seem overwhelming during those first few weeks. Grief can rob the body and mind of energy and the ability to do those things which would normally come easy.
Allow them to grieve.
Allowing someone to grieve might seem like a simple task but sometimes well meaning friends and family can make it more difficult than it should be. Grief is different for everyone. Allowing someone to grieve in their own way, will make the process easier for them and everyone else.
Some may need to talk about their feelings, their loved one, and how much they miss them. This need to talk will be evident as they begin to open up over the days, weeks, and even months that follow. Don’t shut them down. By changing the subject and not allowing them to talk, you are not saving them from the pain. The pain will always be there. You are only prolonging the healing process. Let them share their thoughts and emotions, and be there for them in that process.
Don’t make them talk.
While some may need to talk about their loss and pain, others will not. Everyone grieves in a way that is natural to them. Let them lead the way. If talking about their pain and loss is not something they are comfortable with, don’t force it.
Give them the time they need.
Grief does not have a time limit. It may take years for someone to feel as if they have returned to some kind of normal after the loss of a loved one. Others might find their way back to normal tasks within a few months. You cannot rush the process or delay it. Allow it to flow in a way that fits the needs of the person or persons who are grieving.
Be the hands of labor.
Sometimes the loss of a loved one means cleaning out a closet, a dresser, or making a move from one home to another. For the grieving heart these can be overwhelming tasks. Be the hands of labor working alongside the grieving loved one, helping them get through these tasks in a way that eases the burden.
Be aware of the times they stop to hold something a little longer than usual. This might be a time to ask what significance it holds, or if they would like to keep that particular item for the sake memories. Try not to rush the process. This can be a valuable part of the grieving process as they relive memories through touch, smell, and holding those things which might have been precious to the lost loved one.
Love them.
There is nothing more important to the healing of a broken heart than love. You cannot take away the pain or bring a halt to the grieving process. You can, however, love those who are grieving in a way that gives them warmth and comfort.
Don’t try to make them grieve in a way that makes sense to you. Don’t try to refocus them onto things you believe will make them happy. Don’t place your own ideas and thoughts into the grieving process. Allow them to grieve. Be the shoulder they need. Provide the meal they will eat. Work alongside them, not against them. Just love them.
Not everyone who is grieving will need counseling. However, if you feel as if the person you love is not coping well with their grief, unable to get out of bed, shower, or take care of themselves or their children, they may need counseling. Love them enough to encourage them to seek help.
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